Reminder

The most important part of a paragraph is the topic sentence. If it is not well stated or does not offer any interesting theme to be discussed or analyzed, the rest of the paragraph will not be relevant at all. Moreover, a well written paragraph implies the combination of different types of sentences and a special attention on the relationship between them, as well as on the structure that the whole paragraph should have. After the teacher’s feedback, I realized that my paragraph was not up to standard because it lacked the proper structure and texture. I had to restate the topic sentence and change some of the supporting sentences in order to produce a more coherent and cohesive paragraph. 

Paragraph ReWriting

Acha Nicolás & Ascolano Gustavo               

Professor Stella Maris Saubidet Oyhamburu

Language and Written Expression IV

May 23, 2014

Failing among students

In order to understand why students fail there are some important causes to be analyzed. Firstly, depression is the most common cause of school difficulties. People with depression have continuing negative thoughts about themselves and their future, and they may experience changes in their ability to concentrate and make decisions during a class. Secondly, students’ problems at home may also be an obstacle at school. If a student's family is experiencing violence, unemployment, or alcohol use by a family member, it may be difficult to concentrate on schoolwork. Lastly, the third important cause is related to the learning disabilities, which refers to conditions that interfere with gaining specific academic skills, such as reading or writing. Although these are not the only causes that lead to students’ failure, the study is based on the most common reasons. 

Working Women

Even though women have always worked in one way or another, they have increasingly become more involved in the workforce of every nation in the last fifty years. In the beginning of the 20th century, women used to perform home-based jobs such as sewing, laundry and cooking to sell on the streets. Many women were also employed in factories or as domestic service for richer families but they did not have the same opportunities than men had to be engaged in a wide variety waged work. In addition to their unpaid job at home which included cooking, cleaning and child care. Working class women had no choice but to work in order to help support their families.  Similarly, 21^st century women have to take care of their household chores and children’s needs besides the job they fulfill for others, which in most cases is essential for the family sustain. However, women aspirations have shifted from female-oriented jobs to an unrestricted participation in every field. These changes removed them from the domestic sphere and introduced them into the marketplace.  They now represent almost a half of the workforce in most countries and therefore became the most powerful engine for global economic growth.

Paragraph Writing

Acha Nicolás & Ascolano Gustavo               

Professor Stella Maris Saubidet Oyhamburu

Language and Written Expression IV

May 23, 2014

Failing Among Students

In order to figure out why students fail, there are four main causes to be analyzed. Firstly, depression is one of the most common causes of school difficulties. People with depression have continuing negative thoughts about themselves and the future, and they may experience changes in their ability to concentrate and make decisions. Secondly, students also may bring their problems at home to school with them. If a student's family is experiencing violence, unemployment, or alcohol use by a family member, or any other upsetting experience, it may be difficult to concentrate on schoolwork. Thirdly, anxiety is a feeling of excessive worry about a possible danger or an uncomfortable situation that is intense enough to interfere with a person's ability to concentrate and focus. Lastly, the fourth cause is related to the learning disabilities, which refers to conditions that interfere with gaining specific academic skills, such as reading or writing.  Although these are not the only causes that lead to students’ failure, the study is based on the most common reasons.  

Working Women

Even though women have increasingly become more involved in the workforce of every nation in the last fifty years, they have always worked in one way or another.  In previous centuries, working class women had no choice but to work in order to help support their families. They used to carry out home-based jobs such as sewing, laundry and cooking to sell on the streets. Many women were also employed in factories or as domestic service for richer families. This was in addition to their unpaid job at home which included cooking, cleaning and child care. Similarly, 21^st century women perform a wide variety of paid work for others, which in most cases is crucial to sustain the family; and also perform the same unpaid domestic chores. Throughout history, women have received lower wages than men for the same job. In spite of gender equality movements, sex discrimination is still usual; not only in the payment women receive but in the activities they are “welcomed” to participate.  All in all, women have historically played an important role in the development of economy.